Illusion is reality

Illusion is imaginary

But it gives life, propels energy

Or sometimes, lets breathe

In the blissful shroud of ignorance and happiness.

In belief thus remains sanity (or a false sense of it)

And that is freedom of the heart

For when a soul strikes its course

It knows not why or how, except that it has to

Same for life, we know not the meaning

Or the reason of livelihood;

Of being born, eat, grow and die.

All but faith, a credence, a certitude

A feeling of 'Yes, what I think is true'

A

Anger

Wrath disturbs my thinking
Thunder frequents chaos
That day and today,
Tomorrow; may be forever
I remain angry like the storm

Silence disturbs my sleep
Close to hell, the red: close to blood
Home comes to hatred
Longing for the island without sun
Which remains dry like death

Breath disturbs my smelling
Smoke, smoked to burnt

-A

Lost in time

During day I did not
Dusk brought night closer
And I gazed outside the window
Into the bewilderment

You smiled and asked 'Why?'
I don't recall whether I smiled
But I looked back, unscathed
Into the fanthomless darkness

The engine blew another siren
Foretelling the hour of uncertainty
We remained silent as ever
And the journey continued...

No one knows for sure
What happened that night
Or the next morning
But I lost You forever

-A

My photography blog

I announce the launch of my newbie photography blog:

http://frombehindtheshutter.blogspot.com/

It basically has shots now. More later...

-Arnab Pal

Silent Delicacy

Just found a booming number of hits for RECEME in the past 5 days (2000+ hits).The obvious option was to google for “receme” detect my suspicion.

Here is what I found…

At least 5 top tech mags have listed/linked-to my project at code project:

http://www.dotnet-news.com/detail.aspx?ID=45918
http://www.elifemagz.com/category/application-software/programming/
http://www.dotnetonweb.com/dot-net-tutorials/c-sharp-tutorials/receme-remote-command-execution-through-email-exchange/
http://www.devasp.net/net/search/res/r354712.html
http://en.serialcoder.net/technews/RECEME+-+Remote+Command+Execution+through+eMail+Exchange.aspx

The original posted article resides here:
http://www.codeproject.com/KB/applications/receme.aspx

-A

A little journey in the world of pictures

I'm Arnab Pal. I live in Bangalore, India with my wife. I was born (on March 14 1982), grew up and educated in Calcutta, India. I was there until 2001.
The first camera I touched was my Father's Yashica, when I was 15 or so. It was a film camera. An amazing experience, but I remember how in those days every shutter click was so costly and how we had to keep 10 albums in our old cupboard while still worrying about moisture and bugs to spoil the images.
My photographic experience almost came to a halt for 8 years after 2001 while I joined college in Nagpur (also in India). I did not take the Yashica. Somehow I bought a film fixed focus camera which worked for only a year.
The next camera (bought in August 2009, after a long pause), was again a low priced Kodak C140 (as I was short of money and badly needed one for my trip to Germany. With this I kind of had a hang of digital cameras and basic composition techniques. Though limited in features, it gave me some kind of content and motivation. I remember :p in a period of 4 months I had clicked more than 4000 photos. About 10-15 of them were keepable.
Came January 2010 and I got the hang of Canon's Powershot SX20. My sincire friend, Aninda Sadhukhan, bought it for me from the US (costed about 369 + 40 for accesories like bag, stand, batteries, 8GB card and reader, etc). I was in 2 minds when I bought it for me. I lingered around 1000D and 500D for quite some time. In fact I had almost bought 500D as the cost of it was similar. Then popped the question of lenses. My nearest photo guru, motivator and friend, Sayantan Debnath, told me that I would have to invest in lenses sooner or later.
I laugh at my thinking at that time. I did not know, what a lense is and how I needed it once I bought a DSLR. The lack of funds forced me to buy the SX20. And now almost 5 months with it which makes life pretty simple.
SX20, qualifies as a super-zoom 12meg camera I would say. I carry it always, though its heavy, and occasionally get paid, in moments, for my labour of carrying it. And now I am in Germany again. But I dont have enough chance to travel like last time. So the SX20 just sleeps all day in my backpack, unless once in 2/3 days while I just try a hand at some landscapes / moments.
This provokes me to talk about the SX20 (though I dont know its okay to talk about it here). SX20 is a decent camera. Atleast for low -budget-high-expectation-people like me. It has 20X optical, though I am upset with the degraded sharpness at increasing zoom. At 20x (560mm equivalent) it is terrible. So I dare not use it these days much. At 1X(28mm equivalent) its good but again the sharpness at long distances in landscapes is crappy. I had tried all hyperfocal and other tricks but it just doesn't work.
Another depressing thing about this camera is its control of manual focus. The Manual focus control is a small wheel behind the camera which is sometimes more sensitive and sometimes not. May be I am slow too to decide on a good focus while using it. The visibility is also difficult. There is a small part in the screen which widens to show the the actual focus. But I still need a lot of practice to make the focus decision. Also the fact that once the camera is switched off all manual settings is gone (no prefocus etc).

Canon has tried to make the SX20 with basic manual controls;
a) DOF setting (min 2.8 and max 8.0) you can set this by selecting the round dial on the top of the cam to 'M'/'Av' and then 2 clicks on the middle button behing the camera and then turn the small wheel round
b) Shutter speed (min 15s and max 2000/3200). Similar controls with 'M'/'Tv'
c) Manual focus (the auto focus system is really buggy unless you focus on really close subjects) For subject futher than 2-3 m the autofocus is always incorrect and immensely out of focus.
Thus, choosing manual focus is what I am forced to do mostly. I dont know if the SLR cameras has the autofocus systems better than this. The SX20 takes about 2sec to decide on the autofocus (the later the more prone to errors).
Sometimes I try to autofocus on a subject 3-5 meters away and check the distance. I get shocked to see the distance calculated is 50cm or so. Then I have to switch to manual focus -> zoom-in the subject -> and set the focus correct. To make things worse; when I zoom out again the focus re-adjusts again to something else. So I have to remember the zoomed in distance and then manually adjust the focus again (fro the 3rd time) after zoomout. I get irritated by all this. May be thats the price you have to pay for buying a PnS with some basic manual controls.

So here are the most important drawbacks I am struggling with everyday (help to overcome this; is welcome). And now I feel the SLR option would have been better :)
Dont take me wrong, I am in no intent to part with the SX20. It still serves a lot lot lot of purpose and is great for a PnS to have all this packed in a still so sleek body.
I post my pictures at http://behind-a-shutter.blogspot.com/.

This post is originally posted here:
http://digital-photography-school.com/forum/general-chit-chat/3-introduce-yourself-463.html#post992572

-A

Slight Return (40 bpm)

Lonely Eyes

Forget pearls
I'm not an oyster
but an empty peanut shell
carnival girls threw on the ground
remember

and remember it well

When was it last that you laughed?
and was I there when you did?
Did I sell you the soul
portrayed in my role
or the life my persona hid?

I try to be me
but sometimes my Me is really a You
and the bubble gum pop you see in my eyes
is a reflection of lights from the rides
I ride
in an attempt to be loved

but how can you love a window
who masquerades as a mirror
when the carnival hits its crescendo
and tonights expectations are clear?

When the lights go out on Center Stage
you'll see complexity
waxed simple with Age
and wonder
what wonders you missed
behind the eyes
the Lonely eyes of child

-A
http://arnabpal.blogspot.com

History of Heavy Metal

There are many theories about the “origin” of this dark genre, being, Heavy Metal, but I believe this to be a fairly accurate version. During the sixties, Rock & Roll demonstrated a clear split from R&B and Swing. Though many of the aspects of Blues have been sustained in all its sons and daughters, many of the modal traits of its brother, Jazz were gone. Rock & Roll became the popular movement, catering to the teenager, and often borrowing tunes from R&B and making them its own (ie. Beatles and Rolling Stones).

Rock & Roll itself, however, suffered splits during the late sixties, with many bands re-incorporating folk ideas, and many others incorporating classical progressions and artistic near-jazz colorings. Rock & Roll continued on into the seventies as Pop Rock, with many fabulous acts such as Elton John and Billy Joel. The other versions, however, became powerful genres unto their own. The folk artists became an anti-war activist collection, providing us with CSNY, the Guess Who, Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix (who, himself, could be considered a member of many genres). Most importantly, the progressive movement developed into “Progressive Rock,” providing such class acts as Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Jethro Tull, Deep Purple and Black Sabbath, and many, many more. It has even been argued that the Beatles attained a complete defection from Rock & Roll over to Progressive Rock.

Is it a wonder that all the well-known Progressive Rock bands were British? Just like the Who, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, these groups had a sincere influence on Rock, and competed with the American groups for fans. These Progressive artists introduced new concepts of powerful operatic vocals, condensed distortion, and progressions that were previously unheard of outside of classical music. But it would be Black Sabbath (in direct contention with both Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin), with its dark themes and very heavy, bluesy sound, which would become known much later as the “father of Heavy Metal.” Pink Floyd, meanwhile, drifted into the visual realm, and after its climactic “The Wall” album, drifted on into memory, having etched a permanent mark on all of modern music.

Very early in the seventies, another wave of this Progressive movement invaded America, bringing with it the likes of Judas Priest, the Scorpions (from Germany) and Iron Maiden. Listen to an early Judas Priest or Scorpions album and you might think you’re listening to a Floyd or Sabbath set. Iron Maiden and Judas Priest each carried forward the vocal torch as set by Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple (Ian Gillan). Other groups from this invasion introduced still darker themes in their lyrics, carrying on the trend started by Black Sabbath. This was known as the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) and, though short lived, would finally seal Metal as a distinct version of music from Rock & Roll.

However, many Pop acts enjoyed the distortion, visual demonstrations and heaviness of the entire Progressive movement. Though they stuck with the Rock & Roll format, they further emphasized the “solo.” Musicians of this latent seventies Pop movement gradually improved the solo standards. Hard Rock was here to stay. Groups like Van Halen, Foreigner and Bad Company were born. KISS provided elaborate shows. And AC/DC has held strongly to the Hard Rock (blues based) flag for over two decades.

During the early eighties, these two genres of Heavy Metal and Hard Rock competed extensively. Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and OZZY (having left Black Sabbath) put out incredible albums. Hard Rock (now with British members) fought back with Def Leppard, Motley Crue, and AC/DC. The Scorpions changed format, and defected from NWOBHM to Hard Rock, releasing the ever-memorable “Blackout” album (arguably fitting comfortably within both genres). It became difficult to the average listener to tell the difference between the two styles, and soon, Hard Rock radio stations would even be calling Heavy Metal a “heavier version of Hard Rock” (which was a huge mistake in my opinion!). Hard Rock groups like Ratt, Queensryche, Twisted Sister, Accept and Krokus emulated their Heavy Metal cousins, confusing the audiences even further.

During the mid-eighties, however, a low rumble was being heard within the Metal genre—one which was distinctly different in tone and attitude, and one which absolutely could not be confused as Hard Rock. Some Metal groups had experimented with a more aggressive vocal approach, had incorporated a “punkier” style of instrumental attack, a quicker form of time transition, and an increase and speed. One group in particular, being heavily influenced by NWOBHM as well as the likes of Deep Purple, had difficulty finding gigs, being considered too “rock” for Punk yet too “punk” for Hard Rock—Metallica had arrived on the West coast, and upset the status quo! Anthrax did the same back East. Thrash was born. But this still wasn’t fast enough for some, and Slayer helped launch Speed Metal.

As Hard Rock weaved its way into glam rock in the mid and late eighties (same music, though a bit toned down with the likes of Bon Jovi and Poison), Heavy Metal introduced a still darker movement in Death Metal. But in the early nineties, both genres would suffer dearly, as Seattle spawned the contra-punk movement which would shake Pop music to its very core, “Grunge.” Nothing has been the same since, and even with valiant efforts on the part of Corrosion of Conformity, Pantera, Iced Earth, Anthrax, etc., and a couple of mediocre efforts from top-billing Metallica, Metal has once again returned to the underground. It is here, within this context of underground motivation and motifs, that Black Metal would be born under a dark sign.

And now? Grunge came and went, being framed as a movement by the coming and going of Nirvana. The remaining Seattle acts either died out quick, became more artistic and strange (Pearl Jam—who hasn’t provided a decent album, in my opinion, since its debut, “Ten”), or eventually just fizzled (ie Soundgarden). The Pop scene became known as the “Alternative Rock” scene, with some fine jewels presented in re-discovery of older acts, and an especially fresh and powerful representation on the part of female vocalists (Ani DiFranco, Sarah McGlauchlin, Holly McNarland, Tori Amos, Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morisette, Joan Osborne, Beth Orton, and many more—even Madonna, the queen of eightees bubble gum pop, has presented tremendous and mature material of late, having discovered that soft-techno can be good too).



Genre-specific Metal Traits:

Metal is a sub-genre of Rock, stemming (as noted above) not from Hard Rock, as is the common misperception, but rather from the progressive rock movement of the late 60’s and early 70’s. Metal’s own sub-genres (sub-sub genres of progressive rock):



Heavy Metal (ie Judas Priest, Iron Maiden): aggressive, driving beat



Speed Metal (ie Slayer): blindingly fast



Thrash (ie Metallica, Anthrax): punk influences, very quick meter changes



Black Metal (ie Iced Earth, Lacuna Coil): combination of Heavy Metal and Thrash



Death Metal (ie Obituary, Cannibal Corpse): that indescribable vocal quality



Progressive Metal (ie Therion and Opeth): very long tunes of near-Floyd standard in composition



Some Metal bands fall into more than one of the above category, and bands who evolve often switch categories completely (ie Metallica shifting from Thrash to a standard Heavy Metal format for their self-titled 5th album—“the black album”).



Metal songs follow their progressive roots, reaching back to Classical and Jazz forms in many instances, by maintaining 4-8 minute average tunes, as opposed to their Hard Rock cousins who average 3-5. Also, Hard Rock tunes, for the most part, follows the standard for all Rock & Roll: “stanza, stanza, solo, stanza.” This is definitely not the case for Metal, which has no strict format, will provide extensive intro and outros, cut-aways in the middle of songs, etc.



Whereas Hard Rock (simply a hard form of Pop Rock) follows Rock and Roll in concerning itself the standard interests of “Sex, Drugs and Itself,” the main themes of Metal tend to delve into more complex issues and often darker recesses of human emotion, and though the following examples are not all-encompassing of the Metal genre, they are common threads throughout :

politics & governmental abuses:

“One” – Metallica (anti-war song)

“Electric Eye” – Judas Priest (anti-abuse of power song)

“Two Minutes to Midnight” – Iron Maiden

“Freedom” – Rage Against the Machine


sociology:

“Potters Field” – Anthrax (societal observation)

“Prison Sex” – Tool

“Evidence” – Faith No More


deaths of loved ones:

“Cemetery Gates” – Pantera

“10,000 Days” – Tool


effects of drugs:

“Hollow” – Pantera (effects of drug overdose)

“Master of Puppets” – Metallica (cocaine addiction)

“Snowblind” – Black Sabbath (cocaine)

“Rosetta Stoned” – Tool


metaphysics / religious studies:

“Creeping Death” – Metallica

“The Real Thing” – Faith No More



As for the next stage for our beloved genre, well, if I am correct in stating that Metal incorporates a high level of integrity in lyrical structure, progression and theme, then it might follow that we have not heard the last of Metal…our numbers are again growing…we’re just waiting for that next great Metal act to follow in the footsteps of Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Metallica and Pantera, and show the way for Metal to come out from the underground. That’s why you’re here, taking in all this history, reviewing up-and-coming bands in your local dive bars, and listening intently for an indication of more than just “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll”: you are devoted fans who know that Metal offers an outlet for musical and intellectual exploration of a higher nature than mere Hard or Alternative Rock -- thanks to you, Metal, Heavy or otherwise, is here to stay.

-A
http://arnabpal.blogspot.com

I Forget sometimes

I sit staring into no where
Focusing all my energy
Into concentrating on the TV
Or whatever is keeping me from thinking
Because sometimes I forget
That you're not here
Or I'm not there
That I can't lean to the side
And fall in your arms.

And sometimes I open my mouth to speak
Or criticize the stupid movie I'm watching
And it's not until the echo of my own voice
Is ringing in my ears
That I realize I'm talking to no one.

And sometimes when I hear your voice
I turn to give you a hug
But it's not your arms that I find
Only the nothingness
That reminds me
Your voice comes from the phone on my ear.

Sometimes I see your face
And it seems so close
I can almost feel the silk of your skin
Under my gentle hand
Then I see the smudge of a finger print
And find it's only a photograph in my hand.

Sometimes I cry
But you're not there to wipe away the tears
Only I don't realize it until I feel the salty trail stinging down my face.

And sometimes my sobs lull me to sleep
The next morning I wake holding you
But when I open my eyes to kiss you
And say good morning
I realize it's only a pillow in my arms
And it's damp with my tears.

Because sometimes I forget
That you're not here...
But I never forget the pain of that realization.

-A
http://arnabpal.blogpsot.com